RealPoeticJustice

Right now I'm trippin cuz my soul is in a daze....mind trapped in a maze....man I swear its not a phase...I can go so many ways knowin only one is right, so I go straight blind faith with no direction or light. Sittin surrounded by darkness and fear, when I cry out my echo is the only voice I hear. Standin still while the world moves around me, my thoughts and ideas will never be free. I'm trapped and stuck between this rock and this..well you know that base....rock bein my own self and mental space the hard place. I am my own worst enemy because I've never ever been a friend to me. I've always felt one thing but did another, my mind and heart constantly contradict each other. I can't keep playin devil's advocate with the two...and between me and you...I'm tired. This mind set I'm in, this downward spiral spin, is drivin me crazy but maybe, just maybe....I've finally hit rock bottom. Maybe now I can find a way to stand on my burdens and they no longer weigh me down. Where I'll no longer have to hide my permanent frown. Maybe now I can smile and it not be fake, and maybe now...from this eternal slumber I'll wake. At the end of the tunnel there's light I see....a glimpse of hope and redemption for me......

I am a homo...as if you didn't know so! Everything about me is gay! My room is gay, shot glasses, plates, forks, knives...you name it! Almost all of my t-shirts have something about being gay on them...I have rainbow J's and forces, converse and hats...I'm just an all around homo. BUT THAT'S IT! I use to be so caught up on being classified as a stud, soft stud, stem, tomboy...ect...ect...(we all know THAT list) that I failed to realize we're all women (well...I mean I always knew we were all women...you get what I'm tryin to say)...UNTIL I MET MY MENTORS...@FreeFemFabulous (yes follow them on twitter) ! #ForgetTheLabels.....#JustBeFabulous! At first I was hesitant to jump on board with this movement...because of the way that I dress and act. I had this image of myself that I was trying to portray to the world of being this hard ass stud...not butch...just a stud with swag I guess...but in doing that I had to leave out a lot of the aspects that make me me. I write poetry, I sing and write music, and my romantic side isn't bad either...but because I was so against being a "soft stud" or "tomboy" I never let that part of me be known. Well now...thanks to them I'm just LESBIAN! (not A LESBIAN...BUT LESBIAN...TRUST ME, IT'S A DIFFERENCE) I don't need any other label to suffice. This movement has been a LONG TIME COMING...and I'm so glad it's finally here! I'm not a stud, or a stem, or a tomboy...labels only restrict things that shouldn't be. I'm simply...me...an African American Lesbian!

Love is often a misconception...borderline deception...with unclear reception...but my love seems to be the ONE exception. My love is deeper than the deepest of the deep and my heart's slant steeper than the steepest of the steep. I don't even question if you'll catch me when I leap because actions speak louder than words when talk is cheap. My love is real. My soul you'll feel. Broken hearts I heal...new ones I steal. Your heart longs to be caressed, like when my lips brush briskly against your breasts. Or when my tongue moves slowly across ya lips...or when my hands grip firmly around your hips. My love longs to know you inside and out. Anything and everything you seem to be about. It only wants this so there won't be any doubt...that this journey it embarks on is on the right route. My love is R.E.A.L....Ready Even After Lost...I guarantee my next won't have to pay my last's cost. But my future has to understand the D.E.A.L....Don't Expect Anything Less....than what your heart knows is my absolute best! I would tell you that I would move mountains for you...but I'm not that strong. And if I could really rearrange the alphabet to put "U" and "I" side by side I would...but I can't do that either.  What I CAN do....what I WILL do...is never make a promise because they're meant to be broken, give you my word I'll leave hateful thoughts unspoken, try my hardest to be everything you need, your heart's thirst I'll quench...soul's hunger I'll feed. All I ask in return is trust, honesty and EARgasms for days, you know that intellectual type...sometimes sexual like conversational phase.  Love is often a misconception...borderline deception...with unclear reception...but my love for you will ALWAYS be an exception. L.O.V.E....Learning Ones Valued Existence...knowing yourself, your journey, and understanding your distance. Love starts within, if you don't love yourself "true love" can never begin. I love myself, every fault and flaw, now I'm ready to love you no hesitation or withdraw. My love is ready for you. Just know this for yourself. I give you my word you'll need nothing else. My soul wants to hold you in its arms every night, in this place of surreal tranquility, never any reason to argue or fight because my soul's your heart's humility. My love will NEVER make you cry a sorrow's tear, you can live your life with no fear because you know I'll ALWAYS be here. Love is often a misconception...borderline deception...with unclear reception...but OUR love for each other remains the one exception.

I sex you well cuz I'm sexual homosexual and a tease. No need for toys or a strap just my tongue and ya pussy to please. You're on your back, I'm on my knees, back supporting ya feet. You got your legs around my neck thighs squeezing my face pushing my head so deep. You arch ya back the deeper my tongue gets which in return releases loud moans, I tell u to be quiet but my tongue's too deep, ya body's slant too steep, for you to control it. Ya body starts to sweat cuz I got your pussy wet, and my tongue begins to swell as it traces your wall's trail. I push my head deeper..I take my tongue out and replace two fingers...allowing them to slide in deeper and deeper. You're so wet it's like honey when I spread em, so I slide em out suck it off then slide em back in. I lick my lips at the taste of you, I got ya orgasm in plain view but I don't stop. I lick down your clit then blow back up, I suck on your clit while I slurp ya wetness up. I can feel your heartbeat between your legs, so I push my tongue against your clit hoping to become one with it. You push my head deeper. I get you off your back and get you on your hands and knees, i blow your pussy's breeze making you nut once with ease. I eat you from behind while my fingers rub ya clit, so close to ya climax...ya spot I gotta hit. I hold on to your waist while you cum on my tongue, I lick it up then suck what's left and catch you before you run. Lemme put your legs on my shoulders and eat to my heart's content, see your pussy is like that listening ear when my tongue needs to vent. I push my head deeper. You riding my tongue while I'm grabbin your thighs trying to hold you in place, but take your time it's not a race, cuz baby we got all night to finish. As I feel the warmth from your body made juices being pushed out as hard as it can..I lick one last time REAL REAL SLOW, until my lips meet with yours again.

This "poetry thing" should be more than a trend...more than just a way for some people to pretend...that they have a soft side and understand your feelings...but talking like Shakespeare is so unappealing. Right now though, I could really use a friend, maybe a shoulder to cry on that u could possibly lend....nothing will be right until they make amends...my head and heart need to be friends again. My heart tells me one thing but my head says another...I promise you guys I can't take this any further. "My mind's telling me no but my body's telling me yes!" Ugh this stress. I'm so confused, can you tell I have no idea what to do? But i guess in the end I'll have nothing to lose...so I'm sorry Forces it's the J's I choose!

Have you ever been stuck between a rock and a hard place? And that place where your stuck be full of headaches and heartbreak? Full of trials and tribulations you just can't seem to get out of, no matter how far you climb you'll never get above? That's where I'm at, and it's no fun at all. I keep budding my head against the ceiling but time after time after time I just fall. See, I fell to realize that there is no easy fix, gotta let it play out like vibrations in drummer's sticks. My back aches and my chest is tight making it hard to breathe. They keep telling me "It'll all work out" but I find that hard to believe. Man fuck this rhyming shit I'm so pissed I need to vent. I'm so tired of the situation that I'm in. I keep trying to break free from this cycle this never ending always beginning again and again and again cycle. There is no light at the end of this tunnel there is no hope for me...as I sit and write out my life's tragedy my soul begins to bleed. Drip...drop...drip...drop...I'm running out of time. The clock is not my friend, the hour hand strokes closer and closer to the end of my days and the second hand mocks me with it's tick tocking it's steady rocking never missing a beat. I stop to catch my breath. My heart skips a beat now the rhythm is not normal... beat beat...be...be...be....flatline. As I have this out of body experience and I look back on my past look forward to my future then focus on my right now, I realize that I can not give in. I have over come so much and so much I have to still over come. There is change that only I can make, there are poems that only I can write and there are souls that only I can lick with the stroke of my pen. My heart begins to beat again. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and stand up straight...look everything that is trying to defeat me eye to eye look them dead in their face. I stand up tall like my name is Malcolm X and I proclaim before my audience of demise and self destruct that I will no longer give in. Now I have to learn to love time because it's my only friend. The pain that I feel right now is no greater then the joy I will feel when I over come it, So, I inhale greatness and exhale success so these bums and bottom feeders will choke on my second hand smoke. I beat my chest like King Kong cuz I am the beast in this mass of suicidal thoughts, households of distraught and I alone murder these incompetent notions. I stand before you naked, stripped from keen fashion sense, slick tongue, and witty since of humor and let you see me bare it all. Nothing to hide behind, nowhere to run...it's just you, me, and my pen. But I have tough skin...so I'm able to hide the deep rooted hatred that's still plowed in my heart, and the scares on my soul left not by the slave owners but my ancestors who didn't know how to cope...but to inflict on their children what was given to them . My smile is fake the twinkle in my eye is only visible when I'm high...cause then nothing hurts....TO BE CONTINUED